What Are You Doing Here? (Frostnose)

The moon was a frequent friend of Frostnose. He often elected to wander off by himself at dusk, and simply not return to the camp as night neared. It wasn't as if anyone noticed his absence, or if they did, they were glad for his disappearance. Connecting with others wasn't his specialty, in fact, it was his greatest weakness. Not that it mattered. Taking the time to speak and wasting the time to respond had never been in his best interests. It wasn't even interesting.

A pebble trembled as his white paw brushed its edge, causing it to tumble and skip as he continued his walk across the smooth rock. The stroll was calming and a chance to release the stress that had built up within him throughout the day.

He had been forced to perform two conversations in the course of one day. One was with a she-cat that he marginally respected. It had been such awkward moments they had shared, with many um's and a few uh's. Frostnose had left the conversation as hastily as he could and hoped that he would never see the she-cat ever again. While he didn't appreciate conversation, he also understood what it was like to be embarrassed. It was an emotion he knew quite well.

He glanced up to the moon, pausing his brisk walk to bask in it. The moon was often uninteresting, instead the sun being the better orb in the sky. Frostnose enjoyed the moon, for it reminded him of himself. It sounded strange, but standing in the moonlight, nothing felt more true. His white fur gleamed under the white rays that shone down. The tom took a deep breath, trying his best to take the peace that he felt from the moonlight. If only he could be cast into the sky, a place where he truly could not be touched.

His head turned slowly, curious as a soft hum vibrated through the barren landscape. That was when he saw her. She seemed so free and happy, strolling along on the same surface that Frostnose found himself on. Fear was his initial emotion. The desire to run far away from this problem overcame his senses.

His efforts were in vain.

Muscles rippled underneath his silver and white pelt, but the stray rocks littered around caused him to slide on the ground, only bringing him closer to the one cat he dreaded to see.

Aspensky.

Shortee  || 405 words || a h h i'm so excited for them

All sound ceased as time slowed. Rocks rolled slowly, tumbling and crashing into one another as they continued their descent into the darkness below. The owl that had frequented on many night trips flew by, startled by the sudden words that shot out of a certain silver she-cat.

She was beautiful. Her silver fur, full of tabby marks crossing like veins, gleamed like an opal under sunlight. It was a strange thought to have, especially considering how he proclaimed himself her enemy. He was supposed to despise her. He wanted nothing to do her, yet his heart yearned to run and laugh by her side. He didn't want to take this midnight stroll alone any longer.

And after all this, the tom was still torn. Aspensky had never taken the time to truly understand him, so why would he forgive her? Not only that, but the last cat he had tried to open up to had ended up shredded by a fox before his own eyes. What if the bond between them distracted her? It would only be another death on his conscience.

Time had increased its pace. A heart-beat passed, and Aspensky was before him. He was staring at her, although he realized it too late. An awkward moment passed when the tom had nothing to say. Part of him screamed that she deserved no words, but his empathy whispered to give her a chance.

He began to reflect on conversations he had observed while on patrol. A simple hello, paired with a how are you before they launched off into jokes and small talk. He broke the eye contact with his sister as his mind raced for an answer. Nerves began to overtake him. She was waiting for his answer. He was taking too long. His efforts would go unnoticed..

So he blurted out the first thing he could think of. "Hm. Haven't seen you in a while," the tom struggled to keep this train of thought going. Excitement coursed through him as he recalled an earlier conversation he had witnessed between a kit and their grandparent. "It's been too long. I've gotten older, haven't I?"

That wasn't right. Frostnose had begun to smile, but again became paralyzed. He wasn't any younger than his sister. This was going so wrong, but how could he fix it? His brain was fried. It wouldn't respond to simple commands. Again, he resorted to winging it.

"We're the same age. Disregard that."

Frostnose was disgusted with himself.

Shortee || 416 words || omg this is rough

Frostnose needed something to distract himself. An owl, a sudden noise, even a bug would do. He needed an excuse to not be looking at his sister. But her eyes beckoned to him. They were so wide with concern, genuine concern. Something that he could never picture within himself. He was constantly reminded of the bonds that others formed over conversation. How would he ever feel love if he couldn't form a bond in the first place?

He was doing it again. Somehow his eyes had transferred back to Aspensky. While off in thought, he had most likely been blankly staring at her. It was a trait of his that she was probably used to. Frostnose returned his eyes to the sky, seeking comfort in the mellow glow of the moonlight. The stars blinked before him, each one an ancestor. Or it was supposed to be that way.

Frostnose tried to hone in on a star that was the most elegant and regal. He deemed it Whitesky. If he could ask Aspensky, he was sure she would be brought to tears. He laughed, the sound nothing but a soft whisper of sound. He always remembered his littermate as being so emotional. It was humorous, but he longed for that goofiness. His features softened as he slowly relaxed muscles that he hadn't even realized could be tense.

This conversation was going in the same direction as Frostnose's prior attempt at speaking. It was a complete failure. Somehow he had even gotten his sister, the most confident cat he knew, to a state of mind where she had to place the word "um" into every sentence spoken. Watching his stutter and stumble on her words was far from a relief. If anything, it made him dread the rest of the night. He was always mute, and now she was tongue-tied. At least it wouldn't be a loud night ahead.

Aspensky closed her mouth, her expression so full of emotion that it was hard to decipher what was happening inside of her head.

Now it was his turn to reply. He would normally just reply with a simple sure or okay, but he wanted to show his sister that he really was improving from the mess of a tom she knew all those moons ago. He was the slightly improved Frostnose.

"Uh. No, early bird gets the worm. And that's not a bad thing at all. Wants and needs differ. You need to know what you want to see. Wait. Uh.. Hm."

What had just happened. Frostnose felt like a wind had blown, as hard as it possibly could have, and smacked his head. He was that confused. He knew the sentence was wrong, but he had tried to use all the conversation that related to what he sister was talking about. Tired - waking up early. He didn't want to walk - and he needed to. The correlation seemed simple, but still not right. Somehow it wasn't right.

"Understanding what you go through when you age- nope. Hm." he was stumped, so he reverted back to his normal behavior. "Uh, sure."

Shortee || 514 || i like that! also i apologize for his struggles in advance